+Z’ev

Commemoration of Robert Grossteste

Today’s assigned readings:

2 Kings 22:1-13, 1 Corinthians 11:2,17-22, Matthew 9:1-8

“But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”, Jesus then said to the paralytic “Stand up, take your bed and go to your home.” And he stood up and went to his home. When the crowds saw it, they were filled with awe, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to human beings.
Matthew 9:6-8

I’ve been told that “Son of Man” is rather like “John Doe” or CS Lewis’ “Son of Adam”. It is not a title so much as a non-title, a polite way of referring to oneself in the third person. This one passage seems to support that because Jesus says “the Son of Man” - ie anyone - has the authority to forgive sins. And the people “glorify God who had given such authority” to what the Greek describes in the 3rd person plural as “men” which, of course, includes women so the translators say “human beings”. Which is odd modern English, btw: what’s wrong with “humans”? Anyway…

In the Orthodox tradition the sacrament of confession is closely tied with communion. Traditional Russian practice is for one confession prior to each communion. This is modified in the Greek practice, perhaps because of some cultural situation (such as the Turks). Today most Orthodox in America (of those who are regular church-goers) make a confession somewhere between once every week and once every six weeks. My usual practice, when I was Orthodox, shifted all along that spectrum. I found that once a month was optimal. I loved going to talk to Fr Victor as often as possible in confession. And I was a little spooked when I began going to an Abbot of a monastery - about once every 6 weeks for him.

One prefers to go to the same confessor over and over because then the confessor begins to listen and understand patterns of strength and weakness. Ideally a confessor is like a teacher, who stands behind you not steering - as if one were a horse with a bit - but rather whispering advice (not orders) into one’s ears.

I’d never had a confessor before…

When I returned to the western church I was a little disordered for a while. Anglicans, especially, don’t make much of communion. The standard is “All may, some should, none must”. This makes sense to me. So, for about 6 months I didn’t. In fact, from when I was confirmed by Paul Moore in 1981 until I was Chrismated by Fr Victor in 2002, I went to confession 3 times. Only my first one - my visit as a teenager to Fr John at Grace Church, Middletown - seems to have been a confession at all.

But after these most recent 6 months I felt such a strong pull to go again that it was as if my truck was driving itself over to St Mary’s, Asheville. I was there before I knew what to do.

Confession is nothing like what you see in the movies - or it needn’t be, anyway. “I took the Lord’s name in vain 6 times. I stole a car. I lusted 47 times. I covet my neighbour’s ox twice.” It can be that… but that never works for me.

The Orthodox understanding of sin as a sickness rather than a legal issue makes far more sense to me - and it should make sense to most Anglicans as well. I think it would make sense to anyone of a more liberal bent. Even when we don’t imagine a legalistic God, surly we realise humans mess up. When going to confession, we’re not visiting a tax assessor who will figure out a fee and send us to the next window to pay it. We are, rather, visiting a doctor: we note our pains, our weaknesses, our constant headaches and our blurry vision. The Doctor runs some tests and provides some advice and maybe a prescription and asks us to come back in a couple of weeks for another check-up. Usually results are quick-coming. But the cure may take a long time - on into the next life.

Confession is that visit to a spiritual doctor.

And the point of this post is damn, it feels so good.

Now, I have readers from many Christian and some non-Christian traditions. That’s cool. One needn’t go to a priest to make a confession. Paul counsels us elsewhere to confess our sins “one to another”. Outside of the “higher church” traditions influenced by the west, the Priest doesn’t forgive sins so much as announce that God forgives. The purpose of confession, however, is not absolution - but exactly confession: the verbal statement of missteps to another person.

This idea is so important that in the 12 Step movement - recovering from any kind of addiction from drugs to food - the 4th and 5th steps describe confession:

4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Any addict working the steps will tell you it’s hard… but it’s worth it.

So if it’s not, “lusted 47 times and coveted twice” then what is it?

One of my favourite modern(ish) Saints is Kosmas Aitolos. He was a priest in Greece while that country was under Turkish oppression. He wrote a preparation for confession based on the Ten Commandments that speaks to my heart. I’ve read other such preparations that are based on the Beatitudes.

First Commandment

Have I believed in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Have I failed to trust in God and His mercy? Have I complained against God in adversity? Have I been thankful for God’s blessings? Have I doubted the Christian faith and the teachings of the Church? Have I tried to serve God and keep His Commandments? Have I given way to superstition? Have I frequented the religious meetings of heretics and schismatics? Have I neglected my duties to God through fear of ridicule or persecution? Have I failed to pray to God faithfully’? Have I put myself before God?

Second Commandment

Have I made an idol of any person or thing? Have I given to anyone or anything the worship that is due to God alone? Have I set before myself the Holy life of Jesus and tried to imitate Him? Have I read the Holy Scriptures regularly? Have I been irreverent during Church Services, let my attention wander, or been insincere? Have I neglected to receive Holy Communion regularly or without due preparation?

Third Commandment

Have I profaned the Holy name of God in any way? Have I cursed anyone or anything, or sworn a false oath? Have I failed to give proper reverence to holy persons and things? Have I had due respect for the clergy of the Church or hindered them in performing God’s work? Have I broken any solemn vow or promise? Have I entered into any unlawful contract or made an unlawful promise?

…

Seventh Commandment

Have I given way to impure thoughts, words, or deeds? Have I committed any unworthy actions alone or with others? Have I degraded myself in any way, or forgotten human dignity? Have I read immoral books or magazines, or delighted in obscenity of any kind? Have I associated with bad companions or frequented unsavoury places? Have I eaten or drunk or smoked too much? Have I been lazy, idle, or wasted my time? Have I led others to commit sinful acts? Have I been unfaithful to any trust confided in me?

…

Tenth Commandment

Have I envied anything good that has come to others? Have I been jealous of another’s good fortune? Have I wished for anything that was another’s? Have I damaged or destroyed the property of others? Have I wished for things God has not given me, or been discontented with my lot? Have I been stingy? Have I held back anything due another? Have I hoped for the downfall of anyone so that I might gain by it? Have I failed to be gracious and generous to anyone. Have I expected God to give me that which I would refuse one of my fellow men?

Eventually one starts to see that one has violated all ten in one way or another. And mostly through petty little things that one does all the time. But take away the title headings. Leave just the questions. Instead of just replying yes or no, think about the events you are describing. One sees that it’s not about “breaking rules” so much as a huge pattern of unloving: all the questions can be sorted into three boxes:

Have I loved God as I should?
Have I loved my neighbour as I should?
Have I loved myself as I should?

Confession is not simply saying “I’m sorry”. Rather it is the difficult task of phrasing the appropriate questions into positive statements. I always begin confession with this statement: I am not always mindful of God’s presence. Continue on from there…

Much love,

Huw