+Z’ev

Today’s assigned readings:
Deuteronomy 8:1-3, Colossians 1:1-14, John 6:30-33,48-51

Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.
John 6:49-51

I have a huge, internalised and living devotion to the Blessed Sacrament. I’ve watched this evolve and develop since I was 18 and joined the Episcopal Church. But I say this all on my terms, my own meanings.

I never quite “got” benediction of the blessed sacrament as a rite. It’s kinda boring, actually. But the hymnody is awesome.

Therefore we, before him bending,
this great Sacrament revere;
types and shadows have their ending,
for the newer rite is here;
faith, our outward sense befriending,
makes our inward vision clear.

For such hymns alone, rarely sung outside of a Benediction service, I love the rite itself.

Eastern Rite Orthodoxy has no such service, but during Lent, at the rite of the Presanctified, pretty much the exact same things happen including an awesome moment of full prostration in the dark as the Blessed Sacrament is carried through the Church.

Now the powers of heaven are serving with us invisibly,
for behold the King of glory enters.
The mystical sacrifice,
all accomplished is brought forth.
Let us, full of faith and love, draw near.
Let us all partakers of life everlasting.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia

But my devotion to the Sacrament has changed mostly since I moved to Asheville, NC. The arch begins (as with a lot of things) at St Gregory of Nyssa parish.

One thing I missed in the liturgy at St Gregory’s was any sort of pre-communion preparation. We got to the altar, the presider blessed and we ate. There was no warm up. The same is true of my current parish, St Mary’s here in Asheville. So, then as now, I began to take a few moments of silence and say my own prayers. And what I would say - then, as now (and the entire time I was Orthodox) - was the Prayer of Humble Access. I love this prayer!

We do not presume to come to this thy Table, O merciful Lord,
trusting in our own righteousness,
but in thy manifold and great mercies.
We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy table.
But thou art the same Lord, whose property is always to have mercy;
Grant us therefore, gracious Lord,
so to eat the flesh of thy dear Son Jesus Christ, and to drink his blood,
that we may evermore ever dwell in him, and he in us.

To this I have added the Byzantine prayers -

I believe, O Lord, and I confess that thou art truly the Christ, the Son of the living God, who didst come into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. And I believe that this is truly thine own immaculate Body, and that this is truly thine own precious Blood. Wherefore I pray thee, have mercy upon me and forgive my transgressions both voluntary and involuntary, of word and of deed, of knowledge and of ignorance; and make me worthy to partake without condemnation of thine immaculate Mysteries, unto remission of my sins and unto life everlasting. Amen.

Of thy Mystic Supper, O Son of God, accept me today as a communicant; for I will not speak of thy Mystery to thine enemies, neither will I give thee a kiss as did Judas; but like the thief will I confess thee: Remember me, O Lord, in thy Kingdom.

Not unto judgement nor unto condemnation be my partaking of thy Holy Mysteries, O Lord, but unto the healing of soul and body.

But one Sunday, bowing before the Altar at the later service, and standing in the midst of the congregation (at St Gregory’s) I opened my eyes and saw the floor was covered with bread crumbs. And not in a little way, either - it was as thick as a bad case of dandruff on a black t-shirt.

Now, anyone who has “a huge, internalised and living devotion to the Blessed Sacrament” is going to, at this moment, have a huge, internalised and living liturgical hissy fit. The odd thing is, that after a moment, it made far more sense and comfort than you can imagine. The trajectory from my prissy Anglo-Catholic Sacramentalism to the crumbs on the floor, is what I think is interesting. I don’t have enough time or space to track the entire arc, but a few points are needed.

I asked Donald (the Rector) one Sunday if, when I was giving out communion and said “the body of Christ” was I referring to the bread I held or to the person I was addressing. Donald said, “Yes.”

The realisation that fellowship per se, with Christians is what constitutes Christianity. If you to be a Christian, hang out with Christians in a Christian community.

The need to create places of fellowship within liturgical constructs rather than to divide liturgy from fellowship.

Communion is sanctified and ritualised eating - sanctify and ritualise any meal for it to be communion.

The Orthodox Trapeza meal - a fellowship meal in the context of liturgy.

The Didache communion rite celebrated at a family’s supper table.

“My Flesh - Bread” “My Body - the Church as the Body of Christ” Partaking of Church (fellowship) is the same as partaking of Christ.

Fellowshipping with Christians in love is “the mystical sacrifice, all accomplished, brought forth…” to partake in communion is to partake of communion.

You are the sacrament of God to me.

We note this today because, of course, liturgical Christians believe that the Eucharist is, itself, an Epiphany. It is. But what it reveals to us is not somehow God in any different form than he has already shown us. It’s not the “Bread” per se, but the “being”. The Communion of the Church is not mere eating and drinking. It is the presence of God in human love.

The thing that has been missing since I came to Asheville - that was very present in San Francisco and New York - is fellowship. Only rarely over the last five years have I gone out to dinner with friends and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had people over for dinner - or been invited over for dinner - in the last 5 years. I have been totally cut off from communion and partaking in the body of Christ.

Even through I’ve been to church every Sunday.

Much love,

Huw