+Z’ev

Today’s assigned readings:

1 Kings 8:22-40, 1 Timothy 4:7b-16, John 8:47-59

Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I arrive, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhorting, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you through prophecy with the laying on of hands by the council of elders.
1 Timothy 4:12-14

I’ll be honest. I don’t think Paul says much of content at all in this entire chapter. This seems to be a rather rambling bridge between two points. But it is filled with “words of encouragement.” Even in the verses I’ve quoted, once you kinda remove the dithering, there are some talking points:

Let no one despise your youth…
Set the believers an example…
Give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhorting, to teaching…
Do not neglect the gift that is in you…

Let no one despise your youth…
Do not neglect the gift that is in you…

Paul uses two words here that mean essentially the same thing: “think little of” or “make light of”. Paul doesn’t want “them” to make light of Timothy’s youth and gifts. Equally as important, or possibly more?, neither does Paul want Timothy to “make light of” his youth and gifts himself.

Orthodox tradition says he was Bishop of Ephesus, but that same tradition makes him out to an old, respectable age of 65 or more. I think we can discard that tradition seemingly dreamt up in later years more to hold old men in their place of power: because Paul is talking about Tim’s youth. Only a council of octogenarians could call a 65 year-old (or older) a “youth”. The Roman and Orthodox communities have this problem, still today. The words of Paul to Timothy are condemnation to them.

Clearly some folks in Timothy’s community didn’t like that this “kid” that they’d watch grow up was set above them as an teacher. Paul says to him not only “don’t worry about what they say” but also, “don’t start beating yourself up over it.” I’m very good at that. It’s hard to, seemingly, puff oneself up or pay oneself a compliment. I’m good at X. Paul isn’t asking Timothy to be prideful, but just to be honest: to used the things God has given him to do the things he has to do. What more common, important and useful advice could one elder, mentor give to one’s protege?

Let no one despise your youth…
Do not neglect the gift that is in you…

I’m not young any more, I have to say that right up front. My birthday was Wednesday and I’m now 43. Solidly middle-aged. Well, “solidly” might be a stretch: I can’t say there is much different between the way I live my life now and the way I did it in college. My fraternity brother, Mike, said once (entering a house I lived in in San Francisco), “It’s always so easy to tell which is your room.” A number of things don’t “feel” adult about me, and while these may confuse some of my friends, I think they are enjoyable qualities. (You can tell I’m still in that annual period of self-evaluation around the Birthday!)

These qualities make it real easy for me to work with kids - as I do in our drug treatment programme. There are times when I can reach out and make even a disciplinary action seem like “kidstuff”. In her first review of my job performance, Molly, my boss said, “He has a way with adolescents” which surprised me because my boss wasn’t there on 3rd shift. How did she know? Every adolescent therapist we’ve had - 3 of ‘em - has said the same thing. OK. I’m beginning to get the message.

I love working with recovering addicts in ways that I might compare to how I love liturgy. Reluctantly - very reluctantly - I begin to realise I might have found a way to use some of my gifts. That’s a good place to be at age 43. Some how, despite years - decades - of trying to be an ordained minister in several traditions, this is where I’ve ended up now.

That’s what pays the bills. And this blog - this daily wallowing (”chiefly of large mammals, roll about or lie relaxed in”) scripture, sometimes to some benefit, sometimes not - is what feeds me. Today as I sit about my apartment sipping coffee and preparing to go to Mass; and yes, I do this at work, too. Sometimes I’m doing this at 4AM. That may explain some of my more egregious typos! When I neglect either of these parts (the teaching of scripture or the use of my “kid skills”) I fall out of balance. I’ve noticed that many times in the last decade or so. I can throw my entire life out of whack by blocking either of these streams. There are other streams too, but I’ll hold on to these two today for this post.

Finding my own gifts is not enough: I need to be in a community that welcomes my gifts and lets me use them, trusting that God brought me to that community for my own skills. This is what my bosses have done at work - and this is what a good church community does as well. In fact, it might work better in a church community than in a for-profit business!

One of the most important things I’ve learned in the last three years is that teenagers will be teenagers. Youth will be youth. That is their job. They don’t have to - nor should they be made to - pretend to be adults. When my clients start to flirt with each other, giggle incessantly, run with scissors, transgress - many of the adults get stressed. Especially many of the adult clients. But what we’ve learned is that the kind of control issues that make one want to inflict one’s own morality on others are directly related to the kind of issues that make one an addict. Letting the kids be kids is a hard learning that takes a lot of weight off one’s shoulders. Letting people be who they are no matter what their age - rather than forcing them into some kind of box called “what should be” is an important learning. Paul is telling Timothy - and us - to be who he is. And Paul is telling Timothy’s community - and us - to let the kid be who he is.

It’s hard for one “to run the race set before” one while putting up with even minor derision from one’s own community. I feel sorry for many of my friends - most 10 or 20 years younger than me - ordained recently. As they are put in hard places to do hard things with people, often other clergy, who will “despise their youth”. They may end up “neglecting the gift” because it’s easier to just do what the older folks say and make them happy. That kind of sucking up is how we end up with councils of octogenarians who call 65 year olds “youth”. I hope they can be the kind of “kids” (at 25-35) that are not made to neglect their gifts. I hope we can be the kind of church worthy of their leadership and gift.

It’s always the place of youth to shake things up, to knock things over and break them. Throw loud parties and do near-dangerous things. It is the place of adults not to “beat this out of them” but to show that there are better way to channel the energy than breaking crockery: breaking down the walls the adults have built so there is more room is a good place to start.

It’s Sunday: go to Church!

Much love,

Huw